Welcome back to the blog. Today we’re diving into another interview, but this time with a viewer.
So, you’re a viewer who hasn’t cammed in his life?
Evanu: Oh yes. Good thing too. I hate to think where the Lovense would have to go.
What kind of cam categories are your favorites? (ie, couples, trans, single female/male ect.)
Evanu: I feel honoured and privileged to be in the bedrooms of the single females. I respect them as being younger and often quite lovely. This is wonderfully supportive of my orientation and it makes me feel more manly.
What makes a cam model special?
Evanu: I look for personality, style, freshness and creativity. I like interacting with positive and playful models who seem present and responsive. Life force is important for me and I enjoy models who appear to love what they are doing. Especially when they are experiencing release through orgasm. This is a visual gift different than any other types of media since it is live, personal and interactive.
What makes cams better than porn? (if you consider them to be, and if not, what makes porn better?)
Evanu: Oh, there are a lot of things. Top on my list is the aspect of how relaxed the models are in their own environment. They are self managed, directed and often quite disciplined. I feel that this venue provides many opportunities for self discovery and personal growth. Over all, I think it is a wonderful form of adult entertainment.
Do you consider watching cam models to be cheating?
Evanu: This is a great question. The answer would depend on the deeper motive for visiting. If a person is in a relationship with a close partner with whom they are having sex, I feel it is important that a man to be able to stand in his own reality and discuss this with his partner at some point. Living in a state of hiding, cheating and being mousy about one’s life and sexuality shows a weakness of character and personal integrity. But, discretion is important, too. It is important to consider your partner’s feelings before sharing, and know how to approach something that may be a sensitive and touchy issue. This also, I feel, may be valuable for opening discussion with her on topics that relate to human sexuality and eroticism.
What is the importance of tipping? /how much do you feel is an appropriate amount?
Evanu: I have never heard the phrase “Thank You!” used to often. Tipping is something that males need to consider wisely and must understand who or what is in control. One can tip over into debt quite easily, while another stays in the background absorbing visuals and never providing support for the models. The same is true for other media. I feel this is something each patron must decide for themselves based on how much they can afford and budget, and how they might choose to approach the venue. There are thousands of models available at any given time. How does one decide who to visit and support with tips, and why? There are also questions of control. Seasoned models know how to draw tips from naive visitors. I think each person who enjoys the venue must recon with this issue at some point and learn to control themselves. This will lead to more consistent and enjoyable viewing, I believe. It is an important aspect of the male psyche to protect, support and maintain his household and friends. If I connect with a model and spend time in her bedroom I tip continuously but modestly as fits my budget. I am finding that it feels better to support a few rather than running around exploring new territory and squandering my resources. As far as an appropriate amount. Many models suggest a price list for what they are prepared to deliver. I think one should honor them when asking for services but never be afraid to negotiate. It is clear that models tend to be quite generous. We should respond in kind with someone we admire and respect.
(Check out Evanu’s blog post on tipping. This was my personal favourite)
& of course a little self promo- tell me about your blog (when it started/why you started it/it’s goals & purpose)
Evanu: Having been a life coach for sex workers for many years I have come to view the camming venue as one worthy of support and positive input. I feel I have valuable resources to contribute to those who engage interactively there. I enjoy seeing others engage in self discovery and sharing their knowledge and experiences, especially when I have had a hand in their process as a facilitator.
What is the beautiful peoples project?
Evanu: The Beautiful People Project is about perfecting relationships and personal power. How we arrive at these things is very much a function of support groups of people who bring their best selves forward to share their wisdom and experience to increase stature, grace and elegance in their lives. The presence of these elements in a person’s life leads to greater and greater levels of happiness, satisfaction and joy coming from a place of personal self worth and giving.
Thank you Evanu for reaching out to me, and collaborating with me to do an interview from the perspective of a cam viewer.
No matter your gender, if you’re a cam model you’ve probably figured out that your clients are primarily male. It’s no secrets that women seem to be less inclined to these websites, which can be tricky if it’s women you’d rather be talking with.
If you’ve ever seen a show of mine, you would think I’m a bisexual with lots of interest in people, no matter how they identify. That was a lie for my audience. In all truth, I’ve only recently taken on the label of bisexual, and throughout the entire time I was on camera, I was exclusively dating women. Honestly, it was fun pretending to be someone else, but it came with its issues.
Even now, I would say that it’s rare for me to want to date a man. I have been, so obviously I’m not gay, but I certainly lean to one side of the spectrum more than the other. Since being with men wasn’t something I was even considering at the time, it was uncomfortable to constantly have men chase me. On camera wasn’t so bad, because it was a genderless bot typing to me as far as I was concerned. Snapchat was really where the problem was. Constantly, boys faces appeared on my phone screen as they told me how sexy, perfect, beautiful I was. Their eyes looked dull as they requested photos of my body. Never mind the occasional surprise dick pic I would receive. It’s funny, really. I had all these boys at my disposal if ever I wanted an interactive experience, yet I ignored them for low-quality lesbian porn.
The next problem was much harder. I went on plenty of dates, but there was only ever one girl I felt confident enough to tell about this part of my past. She was accepting, embracive even, but it’s no secret that not every reaction would be like hers. Maybe my worry isn’t justified, but I always feared that any girl I would date would not understand a “straight for pay” lifestyle, they would think I wasn’t “gay enough”, or maybe they’d think I only wanted them for male attention. Trying to find a relationship as a cam model felt hard enough as most people look down upon sex workers, but then to add in the extra stress of trying to explain pretending to be into men for cash- well that was hard.
Lastly, it makes you feel like you’re lying. My regulars frequently commented on how “authentic” they believed me to be, yet here I was, pretending to be something I wasn’t. As someone who was already struggling with identity issues, it made things even more confusing for me. I felt guilt, and confusion every time I made up a story about sleeping with a guy because I knew I wanted nothing to do with that. I knew I only wanted to seem available for my male viewers.
No matter your sexual orientation, whether or not you lie about it on screen, you’re valid. I’m not going to lie, being “straight for pay” sucked, but I did it to keep my regulars thinking I was enjoying their unsolicited advances. I didn’t enjoy the discomfort of men flirting with me, the struggles in real life dating, and the fact that I felt I was lying every time I logged in but I did it, and I don’t think that’s something I would change.
In my experience as a cam model, I’ve learned there are seven types of people who will watch you on camera. Here’s what it comes down to:
1. The Kayla
When I was on camera, there was this one user named Kayla who regularly watched me. She always brought up lesbian sex, taboo sex acts while on your period, and other things pertaining to her infatuation with womanhood. She also commonly asked for free things, claiming it would be okay to show her for free because she was a woman. A reverse image search on Google would show her profile photo was taken from Google images, and “she” was almost definitely a man pretending to be a woman for his own pleasure.
2. The “Send Pussy xxx” Guy
First and foremost, this guy is a total idiot. He’s in his early 20’s, he has his daddy’s credit card, and an attitude that the world owes him something. He will throw money at you, but you wonder if that’s so you’ll do what he wishes, or if he just wants to prove that he has the money to do it. He’ll send you messages such as “I have a big tip waiting for you if you send me that pussy xxx” or “I’ve already given you so much, I deserve this x”. You feel the need to deal with him because he pays, but he is near intolerable.
3. The Guy Who Bought a Girlfriend
Some people go to cam websites looking for a way to get off. Others visit these sites looking for someone to talk to, someone that will play the part of a girlfriend for the right price. This guy will eagerly buy your snapchat, and then never leave you alone. They want to know where you are, how you slept, and if you’ll send them a photo of you blowing a kiss. If only someone would show they how to download Tinder.
4. The Chaperone
The Chaperone is almost exclusively older men who have somehow stumbled upon this website. They tend to be respectful, and actively police your chatroom to ensure nobody is saying anything too vulgar. Often times, they aren’t even interested in talking dirty at all, and would rather talk about literature, and science. You love this guy for giving you a break from the hyper-sexualization of your room but his presence ultimately brings down your cash flow.
5. The Actual Creep
One of the main reasons I quit being a cam model. He took a particular interest in me because he lived in the city I was pretending to live in. Because of this, he would actively search for me in public. I wasn’t in the city he believed me to be, so I was safe but nonetheless it taught me a lesson that there will always be people who take things too far.
6. A Typical Grey
A “grey user” is someone who doesn’t have any tokens, but still wants the benefits of spending them. They make demands, and beg you to show them your body, then usually get frustrated and rude when you don’t. Not all grey users carry this mindset, but the ones who do probably make up the majority, explaining why some models have their settings so that grey users can’t speak in the chat rooms at all.
7. The Ones Who Make It Fun
Finally, to complete this list is the good guys. Your regulars who visit your chat room to compliment you and make it fun. These guys are respectful, tip for requests, and have no issue telling off rude users who circle in. They make your life as a cam model fun, and are the reason you do what you do. Be sure to thank them from time to time.
Did I miss any? Be sure to let me know if I did! See you next week for a post dedicated to the time I (kinda) did porn.